This week I was sitting in my Sunday school class when the teacher asked if anyone had a personal experience with the scripture in Luke 22, “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.” A pounding in my chest started and I was immediately transported back in time. I went back to what I...

It usually takes me a couple weeks after these big surgery and MRI days to really process all that has happened. I can always look back and see the hand of the Lord taking care of Mac each step of the way. One thing I can say is how grateful I am that we went ahead with these eye surgeries. A year ago when...

Sometimes things don’t go how you expect and you are forced to forge a new path. When I wrote the blog around Mother’s Day, I said that I would update again in mid July with his MRI and eye surgeries. Well, things have changed and I thought the blog was the best place to come. It has been an incredibly difficult past 3 weeks....

I have been reflecting back about where we were 3 years ago and I know a blog post is long overdue. May 25, 2016 was the day of his 12 hour brain surgery where they resected as much as they could of the larger tumor. I remember that morning so well. So much fear of the unknown. They didn’t know what kind of cancer...

I’m titling this first post, Amazing Love. If this was myspace, I would attach the song Noel by Chris Tomlin feat. Lauren Daigle, to this post. But since I can’t, you’re gunna have to trust me and go listen to it. Turn it up and close your eyes. With Christmas upon us I want to start with the most foundational piece of my stability...

So for this MRI and eye appointment, we were just in CO 2 weeks before but couldn’t make it all work out with the timing, so we had me, Mac and Ty fly there. It was Ty’s first flight and I was sure nervous to be doing all of this without Jeremy. Poor Bo cried so hard at the airport but they kept each...

What an incredible 5 years it has been. As I collected these pictures, I couldn’t believe all that we’ve been through. Thank you for making me a mother. When I was pregnant with you, I had SO many doubts about my ability to be a mother. 5 years later, I’ve found that being a mother feels like a calling made just for me. Not...

It’s been some months without an update! There’s so much that goes on and to us, it’s our normal so I forget that even the people closest to us don’t know all that goes on. I guess the biggest family news is that we’re expecting a baby in January! I’m 22 weeks along and I am SO excited to say that it’s another boy!...

Last time I wrote about Mac he was going in for his MRI in March. That day they did a 70% dose of his port chemo and at first glance, the MRI looked fine. Later that day as we were boarding a plane to come to UT, Dr. Green called and said that the final read on the MRI was that there was slight...

Dear Rex, Today, April 19th is your due date. It’s a beautiful, sunny Colorado day. I love that all three of my boys were born in CO and in the same hospital. It hasn’t been an easy week. I’ve been imagining how this week would have been. I wish I was huge and uncomfortable and pregnant, headed to the hospital to kiss you big...

This battle with brain cancer has been so different than Mac’s AML. His leukemia treatment was all done IN the hospital. Like we lived there, ate there, slept there, and for months. This time it’s outpatient. So he goes to the clinic for port chemo and we administer his oral chemo at home. It’s strange to try to meld his cancer life, with a...

http://teammac2013.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/chemo2.mp4 We are in the process of making a video of Mac and all of his daily activities. This is just one clip! So look for the full video soon! I thought I would do a little update on Mac. Even though we’ve been at this for over 6 months now, our daily activities and routines must be confusing because people are always asking....

It’s almost been one week. Last Tuesday I dressed the boys in matching clothes and all four of us headed to Lonetree to my 20 week ultrasound appointment. We were giddy with excitement over not yet knowing the gender of our baby. The boys talked to the baby every night right after we read scriptures. We had fun talking to Mac about what the...

Yesterday I was going through my phone trying to make more space so I can actually take a picture, and I was watching videos of Mac. I was brought to tears when I watched the one of Mac walking for the first time after his surgeries. I can’t believe how far he has come. It was so scary to see him lay in his...

I can always tell when I’m overdue on an update. Family and friends start to ask questions and I realize I’m doing a bad job keeping you up to date! We still go every Tuesday to do chemo in his port and even though he cries, he’s doing much better than he was. Here’s chemo duck and Mac trying to play video games while...

I can’t believe it says my last post was on June 30th! I tell you. The days feel so long sometimes. So I’ll take you back through the last few weeks. July 1st was my step-sister Mollie’s wedding. Mac was supposed to be the ring bearer and we weren’t even sure how things would be with him so we were so happy to be...

So let’s see. I haven’t updated sooner because we didn’t have a lot of new information. In fact, after our appointment last Tuesday, we decided to go back to Utah because it would still be a week before Mac started treatment. We had such a great time being in our house! The first morning we were there, Mac came down the stairs and said,...

Jeremy and I got married 8 years ago this October. There are so many things you don’t consider before you get married. We would have never imagined one of our beautiful boys would be going through cancer for a first time, let alone a second. You of course don’t consider how your marriage will be strained and pushed to the limit, but also how...

I was scrolling through Facebook and watched a video that my friend had posted. It was a talk given by Dieter F. Uchtdorf in 2014. Here is what it said, “The infinite and eternal Creator of light and life knows you! He is mindful of you. Yes, God loves you this very day and always. He is not waiting to love you until you...

Look it’s Peyton Manning! Ahhhhh we are still freaking out! 🙂 This morning we were leaving our room to go on a wagon ride and our nurse quickly approached and asked if I was a football fan. She saw my shirt and said, oh great! Then she told us that Peyton Manning was here on the 6th floor! We got so giddy. I immediately...

Whew! I’m not sure how anyone imagines these days at the hospital but they are busy and mentally exhausting. They usually start a little before 6am when Mac wakes up from the room being so bright. He then asks for a granola bar. He eats it and then asks for another one. Sometimes even third. Yikes. Then he’ll ask for his iPad and yes...

Well it’s unexpected but Mac’s having his next surgery this evening. It’s scheduled for 7:30 but if the OR opens before that, he can go then. Mac’s drain has been occasionally leaking and that is a risk for infection so they are going to place permanent shunt. There will be a little tube in his brain and a valve that controls the pressure, and...

Well it’s been another few days. I wish I had something to report but truthfully we’re just waiting. Waiting for Mac to recover. This isn’t what I was expecting. I’m just waiting for him to start to trending up. There have been short moments of a little bit of interaction but for the most part he’s just felt like crap. He’s nauseous and threw...

It’s been such a long 48 hours. To say I’m exhausted is a major understatement. Yesterday was grueling. There are strict rules about eating and drinking before anesthesia. So yesterday when Mac woke up at 6:30am he wasn’t allowed to eat or drink. He was begging for all sorts of food and drinks. We tried to get him out of the room to distract...

Well, it’s Monday. Nothing new to report on Mac. He’s doing ok. He’s tired and sometimes irritable probably for many good reasons but also because of the steroids he’s taking. The steroids are to reduce swelling. They are also making him really hungry! He could eat a whole bag of turkey pepperoni in one sitting. He likes to ride in the wagon and go...

Today was a long and tiring day. It’s been so hard to see Mac like this. I just love him so much. I find myself really trying to take in my time with him. I love when he holds my face and kisses me on the cheek. It was an emotional day for me to begin with. This morning they came by to say...

I’m feeling overwhelmed as days go by that I haven’t taken time to officially write down what’s in my head. I don’t know why but my mind feels very full and overwhelmed. Maybe it’s because all of this happened on “vacation”, far from home. Maybe it’s because we’re now a family of 4. Maybe it’s because brain tumors were NEVER on my radar. Maybe...

I can’t believe I’m on our teammac2013 website preparing for this new chapter. I’m grateful for this place to write and express my feelings and give updates to Team Mac. I really believe that our trials here on earth are best navigated when we support and uplift each other. We can’t tell you how grateful we are for every single person on Team Mac....

Is it really Halloween?! This year we decided to be a family of skeletons! We had a family Halloween party at my dad’s house in Longmont on Tuesday, so Monday night I made our costumes! Mac’s skeleton pajamas were the inspiration for mine and Jeremy’s. I drew out the bones myself! Then last night we had a trunk or treat at our church so...