I’m sure many of you know that we’ve been home for a week now! When we first started treatment I couldn’t imagine wanting to go home because it sounded scary. (and it would have been in those days) On Monday his numbers were high enough that he could recover at home. This is typical for AML treatment: 3-4 weeks in the hospital then a week or less at home, then repeat. We were so excited to come home and I cried as I drove me and Mac home that night. I’m already the person that asks Jeremy if every mom loves their kids as much as I love Mac, and as we were driving away I had a whole new love and appreciation for Mac’s life. It is truly precious. It is a privilege to be his mother.

On Wednesday we went for blood draws and his numbers looked good but his ANC was low. It was a good thing we left when we did because I fear that if we would have stayed, we would have left many days later! Thursday night when we went to do Mac’s daily line flushes, one of the lines wouldn’t flush. At 6pm we left for the ER at Children’s. Its not a crazy emergency but that’s the only place that was open. The nurse was able pull a little clot out of his line and he didn’t need any medication!

Overall our stay at home was great. Mac is fussier than he used to be but that is to be expected with all he is going through. I’m just glad we are getting more sleep at home than we do at the hospital. I know that Mac enjoyed being back to the old life! 🙂 He is so close to crawling! The house felt so big, like we had so many choices of what room we wanted to be in!

We were told that we were being admitted today after his bone marrow aspirate and spinal tap with IT chemo but it turns out, one more night at home! The results of the bone marrow will take about a week and then we will know for sure if he is high or low risk and if they are talking bone marrow transplant. I am dreading another long stay at the hospital but this is the road to remission so bring it on. I am really starting to realize that this is a marathon, not a sprint. AML is no joke.

I know its been a while since I last posted. I find that I have such a range of emotions and sometimes words just don’t make sense. I got my laptop out 4 times to blog and ended up putting it away. Its so difficult to explain all of my thoughts and emotions. Life is just different now in so many ways. I worked a few hours Thursday afternoon and I had a patient say grudgingly “how old” she was getting and that by her next appointment she would be 64. Those words really stung as I thought about Mac fighting to see his 1st birthday.

I do know that watching Mac makes me a stronger person. Somehow he has strength to play, laugh and smile. I love him to pieces and I am so grateful for such wonderful family and friends that continue to show love and support and pray for Mac. We love you