Thanksgiving

I know I’m a day late but believe it or not I have almost no time to post until Mac finally goes to sleep and last night I was so tired I just passed out. But I wanted to post in honor of Thanksgiving and I wrote this yesterday anyways.

Today I actually left the hospital, by myself, and went to a quick Thanksgiving dinner with one of my good friends and her lovely family. That drive turned out to be a profound time of reflection for me. I’ve always thought of Thanksgiving as “WHAT am I grateful for”. But today I realized its not necessarily WHAT I’m grateful for, its WHO I’m grateful for. Many of the things that consumed my mind 3 weeks ago haven’t even surfaced since we’ve been here. I don’t want to get all cliche but I really have a different feeling in my heart today. I realized that I haven’t been back to our home for 3 weeks and I don’t even care. Home is where Mac and Jeremy are: and right now that is the hospital. Its our little one room home without a kitchen. I can’t even describe the love I feel for little baby Mac. I have been blessed with strength and I feel like I’m able to be there for him 24/7. I feel like Heavenly Father supports me so I can support Mac. I’m also so grateful for Jeremy. He sleeps on the floor every night without complaint. I really do feel like we are the best team.

As I was driving I realized a little bit of what it means to truly love one another. I drove by cars and thought wow. All of these people are going through trials and tough times in one way or another. I mean what if these people only knew what we were going through right now. It was an overwhelming feeling of compassion that I want to remember forever. It made me think about the petty things that bothered me 3 weeks ago. They don’t bother me anymore. They were a waste of time and energy. My thoughts: JUST LOVE. Its so difficult to do sometimes but its really all that matters.

There are so many friends and family that I am grateful for so I won’t even try to single you out. But just know, all of the ways that you show your love make a difference. We feel like we have an army behind us and we feel your prayers. We hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. This will be one to remember as we spend the holidays in the hospital. But because we are together its really not so bad. We love you.